If technology is very advanced...

Dear IT Support,


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a slow down in the overall performance,
particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery
applications that had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.


In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such
as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.


And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House
Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.


What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate Housewife



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Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,


First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.


Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME
and download
Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.


If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.


But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default
to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night
Teh Tarik 6.1.


Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create
SnoringLoudly.wav files.


Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or
reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported
applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.


In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.


You might consider additional software to improve
memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot
Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.


Good Luck,

IT Support